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Friday, July 5, 2013

Be the healthier

It is strange that we sometimes have to go through a lot of suffering or immediately before we calculate welfare as an option. We are very willing to be sub-par and deal with problems such as headache or cold; We don't think of as 'healthy' normal, but that is what it should be. Our 'normal' must be full of spark energy as we were as children. But poisoned ourselves and stay in bed and watch TV and smoke and generally don't seem to want to be kind to ourselves, but recovery to be kind to ourselves is enormous!

Make the impact of positive life course demonstrated that applying these positive methods are working. I have to be more productive and of the comments that I have received, I am having a positive impact. There is energy available to carry out the projects and the things I only dreamed of. The main difference has been my desire to not listening to my doubts and fears. Now when I get to a belief/thought/negative and destructive trial I have just put to one side, literally ignore it and get a mental picture to put that energy behind me. My thought is to go from positive action that can be done; in fact, even before that, I turn my mind positive results see why most inspire me.

I've always had this positive; I was as a child and then quite the opposite as a teenager. Later my experiences made me totally devoid of confidence. I feel like in the years that I've been tempered steel myself.

When I was little and very ill with Eczema my parents fought to get me into a special school, they quite literally saved my life, I had one of the severest forms of this condition -with two germs waging war against each other within my skin and me as well and the distraction and lack of sleep drove me out of my mind (and body, all my memories are from outside of myself) and both my parents had no sleep and had to work; my mum had a nervous breakdown and my brother I think, was quite neglected, but so lovely that I remember seeing him looking very helpless at what to do, yet wanting so much to help. He didn't know it but his just being there and wanting - helped.

I got better at the school and turned into a tearaway. Then I got depressed, and when I realized this in my late teens I read up on it and saw that exercise was a cure. Instead of taking up jogging I went on a selection weekend to become an Adventure Sports Instructor, and fake-smiled a lot. Somehow I passed, and then I had to fake-smile and laugh, and act, and motivate kids/adults a lot more; until three months later I laughed quite spontaneously and unrehearsed. Nobody realized that depression was one of the reasons I took up adventure sports.

After the season was over I contracted Glandular Fever. The Doctor prescribed bed rest which was lucky as there wasn't anything else I could do; I couldn't stand up, feed myself, clothe myself or anything for a week or two. For some reason the Doctor didn't say that Glandular Fever is a form of the Epstein Barr Virus (a streptococcus with teeth) and that it can result in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or M.E; as I didn't know this for the next few years I simply thought I wasn't so well because of my Asthma or Eczema (see picture) or something, but slowly it became obvious as it developed into C.F.S to the point that some days I couldn't get out of bed to get a drink of water. Again it was only a few people who knew, even then they may not have known just how debilitated I was. Getting money sorted was a nightmare, I failed all my job commitments remarkably reliably and to my own chagrin because I was a fighter, I 'did' things, I got myself out of trouble, I was independent.

When I finally thought 'enough's enough', I went to see a Doctor of Tibetan Medicine. I knew that western medicine is good if you're just about to die of whatever, but for chronic conditions an Eastern/Native medical tradition was my best bet, plus I'd always been interested in Tibetan practices. I was very lucky; this Doctor, Christopher Hansard and his Apprentice Physician, Stephanie Wright from The Eden Medical Centre, Kings Road, Chelsea, London went out of their way to help me. I still feel I owe them so much. Slowly over the last six/seven years I've been able to rebuild my energy levels, my immune system and all the vitality that had been stolen by the M.E.

I learned that my muscles weren't getting enough oxygen and that explained the symptoms of weakness, lack of concentration and poor sleep. It takes such a long time to understand this illness when you're the one that has it it's no wonder it's so misunderstood. I beat myself up about it so much. It wasn't until last March that the symptom of a fogginess over my mind lifted (I wasn't consciously aware of it until it went), suddenly I could remember things and I started memorizing poetry just because I could! It was a joy. Since then that fogginess has come and gone but now it's mostly gone and I'm doing exercise consistently without the fatigue backlash I used to get a day or two after. There's also a liver weakness with this illness so I've taken Dandelion root tea and Burdock to strengthen my liver and it has recovered to normal.

1 comment:

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